Ugly Face

“Throw me the ball, will ya?” asked the balding man who wasn’t wearing a shirt to Alan the precocious eleven year old who recently lost his father in a car accident. Alan picked up the baseball and tosses it to the balding man. “Thanks, kid,” said the balding man. Alan watched the balding man playing toss with a fatter gentleman. After a moment, the fatter gentleman noticed Alan watching them toss the ball around.
“You wanna play, kid?” asked the fatter gentleman.
“I’m just watching,” said Alan.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, kid. You can play if you’d like,” said the balding man.
Alan scratched his chin and then said, “What’s it like being bald?”
The balding man looked down momentarily, then tossed the ball to his friend. “You sure you want to ask me that?” asked the balding man.
“Of course I do. I don’t ask things that I don’t want to ask,” Alan answered.
The balding man told the fatter gentleman to hold the ball as he walked towards Alan. He put his hands on his hips and looked down at Alan. “Where are your folks, kid?”
“My mother is making sandwiches with her friends at the picnic tables.”
“And your daddy?”
“I don’t know. I lost him in a car accident.”
“Oh…”
“We were walking and then we saw the car accident, and he just ran away. I haven’t seen him since.”
“Oh…?”
“You never answered my question. You don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable. Although, I feel sometimes it’s a good thing to answer questions that make you uncomfortable because it will make it less uncomfortable to answer the next time you’re asked that question that made you uncomfortable in the first place.”
“…”
“Sorry.”
“It’s… It’s okay. You’re the first person who asked me what it’s like to be bald.”
“Truth is, people have probably wondered about it — your baldness. They most likely didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
“What… What’s your name, kid?”
“Alan. What’s your name, baldy?”
“You want to say that again.”
“Alan. What’s your name, baldy?”
The balding man shook his head at Alan then turned around and looked at the picnic tables wondering which one Alan’s mother was.
“You got some kinda attitude, Alan.”
“I know.”
“How would you like it if I called you… ugly face?”
“I’d be curious to know why you think my face is ugly.”
“Be… Because you got a really long nose and your eyes are too close to each other.”
Alan stared into the balding man’s eyes for three long seconds. The balding man looked away then looked at Alan again. This time, Alan was looking at his shoes. The balding man reached a hand towards Alan to comfort him, but decided against it.
“Come on, kid. Alan, I’m… I didn’t mean it.”
“…”
“Alan… I’m really sorry now, okay? My name’s Roger, alright? Roger the big bald fellah.”
“You… You think my eyes are too close to each other? What do you know?” Alan strained to ask behind his weakened throat.
“No, no. What do I know?”
“Obviously nothing.”
“Hey. Don’t say that.”
“Why not? It’s true.”
“That’s… mean, Alan. You shouldn’t tell people that they don’t know things.”
“You don’t know anything. You think my eyes are too close to each other. That was a really mean thing to say. Dip shit.”
“Excuse me?”
“Why?”
“You… I’m going to have a talk with your mother.”
Roger began to walk away towards the picnic benches, but stopped after Alan asked, “You got the hots for her?”
“You little…”
“You little what? Are you going to make fun of my physical traits again? I can’t do anything about them, Roger! I can’t fix my nose. I can’t make it shorter to please you, Roger. Go play with your fatter gentleman friend.”
“Don’t call my friend fat.”
“You can’t tell me what to do.”
“Boy, you got some kind of mouth on you, kid.”
“Yes. Yes, I do. You have some kind of mouth on you as well. Good observation, Roger.”
The fatter gentleman walked up to Roger and Alan. “What’s going on here? I’m sick of just holding this ball,” said the fatter gentleman.
“We’re having a discussion, Sully. Just wait a little longer,” said Roger.
“No. Let me join in on the conversation,” said Sully. Sully bent down to be on the same level as Alan.
“What’s your name, kid?”
“Alan.”
“My name is Sully. It’s short for Sullivan.”
“I know. I heard Roger call you Sully.”
“Why, aren’t you the smart one?” asked Sully while smiling. Roger shook his head, embarrassed.
“What? What’s wrong, Roger?” asked Alan.
“Excuse me?” replied Roger.
“You shook your head. Are you embarrassed by Sully’s comment?”
Sully turned around to look at Roger. “You shook your head? Why?”
“Yeah, Roger. Why?” asked Alan.
“I… What is this?”
“We’re just trying to figure out what you’re doing, Roger. Why do people shake their heads?” said Alan.
“I don’t know. I thought you were going to make fun of him,” answered Roger.
“Why would you think that?” asked Sully.
“He seems like the kid that would.”
“But at what? Why would he make fun of me?”
“Because… Because you said aren’t you the smart one and…”
“And what, Roger?”
“You smiled.”
“People smile, Roger.”
“But you…”
“But me what, Roger?”
“God damn it. You gave one of those corny smiles you give to kids.”
“You asshole, Roger. You’re a real big asshole, Roger. I didn’t know that about you.” Sully took out some coins out of his pockets and tossed them on the grass beside Roger.
“Go buy yourself some books on how to not be an asshole. Maybe one of those Dummy guidebooks, and put a shirt on. You’re not impressing anyone,” Sully said before walking off with the ball.
“That was my baseball,” said Roger.
“Where did you meet, Sully?” asked Alan.
“Kid, you just… my friend called me an asshole because of you.”
“What did I do?”
“You… You said I should my head.”
“You did.”
“I know, but… Never mind. He threw change at me. What the hell was that?”
“He told you. He wanted you to buy self-help books.”
“You’re real annoying. I’m not afraid to say it. You’re really God damn annoying.”
Alan stared into Roger’s eyes again. Roger tried to hold the gaze, but quit after six and a half seconds.
“Alan, please don’t cry. Boys shouldn’t cry,” said Roger.
“Wh… Why?” Alan struggled to ask.
“They just shouldn’t. Boys are supposed to stay strong and support their families and stuff.”
“What does crying have to with staying strong and supporting families and stuff?”
“It… Why am I still talking to you?”
“I think you’re lonely.”
“I’m not lonely,” said Roger before picking up some of the coins on the grass. “Why do you think I’m lonely?”
“Because you asked why I think you’re lonely.”
“What does that even mean!?”
“Roger, why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”
“It’s hot.”
“A lot of people here are hot. You don’t see them without their shirts off.”
Roger looked around. “What about that guy?” he asked, referring to a young man playing basketball. Alan looked at him.
“He’s very fit. He has very well-maintained abs. He probably works out at least two hours everyday. He wants to show it off because it gives him attention. I believe that’s why he works out — to get the attention. People really enjoy attention.”
“I don’t like attention.”
“Stop lying to yourself, Roger.”
“It gets really hot here so I thought why not, I’ll just take my shirt off, and…I don’t really need to talk to you, Alan.”
“Giving up so early?”
“No. I have better things to do than argue with a child.”
“I’m not a child.”
“Yeah, you are. In my opinion. All right, kid?”
“Why are you bald, Roger?”
“Because I just am. I’m leaving. Have a good day, Alan. You already ruined mine,” said Roger while walking away.
“You’re lucky you didn’t lose your father!” shouted Alan before walking away himself. Roger turned around and watched Alan walking away.
“Hey! I’m sorry, Alan!”
Alan flicked him off, turned around, and said, “Why? Just because my dad is lost, you start caring now?”
“It just sucks, kid. Not having a father.”
“What do you know what it’s like? You don’t know anything.”
“You… Kid, why are you doing this to me? What’s the point to all this? Why are we having this discussion? Amusement? Is it amusement?”
“Stop trying to sound like this is deeper than it actually seems, Roger.”
“I’m not. I’m sincerely asking you. What’s this all about?”
“You’re asking me? I’m eleven.”
Roger examined Alan for a few seconds before saying, “Alan. I’m your daddy.”
“…”
“Alan, I’m back.”
“Roger, stop trying to find purpose in the conversation by claiming that you are my father. It’s not entertaining. It’s just absurd.”
“I love you, Alan.”
“Roger, you’re annoying me.”
Roger covered his face, dropped down to his knees, and started crying. Alan just watched him for a moment, then said, “Roger, this is very childish of you. I think you need a shrink.”
Roger got up and smiled. “Alan. I came here to play catch. I missed the ball Sully threw, and it landed beside you. You decided to watch us. Why?” Before Alan had a chance to answer, Roger started walking away. Alan was about to shout something at Roger, but decided against it, seeing kids playing tag nearby where they might be able to hear Alan.